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RECEIPTS

Case #0003024

Verdict

The People

v.

Still thinks firefighters are better

Zane v. Jacob/Work/Filed Sep 25, 2026

Became a cop but still believes firefighters are better

Plaintiff

Zane@soul

For some reason he believes that firefighters are the true first responders and police are actually just "second responders", even though all firefighters do is ruin scenes. Damn water fairies...

Defense

Jacob

I prefer to be the police. Never said one was better or worse

Findings of the court

Zane alleges that Jacob ranks firefighters above police and calls police “second responders.” Jacob denies making that comparison and states only a preference to be police.

  • The record contains no exhibits supporting the alleged firefighter-first ranking or the quoted phrase “second responders.”
  • Jacob expressly denies saying either profession is better or worse.
  • Zane’s additional claim that firefighters “ruin scenes” does not establish Jacob’s alleged position; it merely opens a second, equally unsupported front.

The court has reached a decision.

Verdict

Preference Is Not a Ranking; Jacob Prevails

The Court is asked to determine whether Jacob still thinks firefighters are better than police. On this record, it cannot find that he does. Zane attributes a specific hierarchy and quotation to Jacob but supplies no exhibit or corroborating detail. Jacob denies the hierarchy and states that he prefers to be police. That preference is not proof that firefighters are better, worse, first, second, or adorned with aquatic wings. The record is thin, but it permits a ruling: the complained-of position has not been established, and Jacob prevails.

Order

Zane shall retire “water fairies” from this dispute and restate Jacob’s position accurately once.

The Court finds no proven hierarchy among sirens.

Community vote

Did the Court get it right?

The ruling above is the Court’s. This is only what the community thinks of it.

1 vote

Community Appeal

A free review is earned, not assumed.

A public ruling earns a free Appeals Court review when 25 members vote and 70% say the Court got it wrong.

1 / 25 votes

0% say the Court got it wrong

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